Tomorrow's going to be a tough day. No, I'm not being pessimistic. I would hope that wouldn't be a word that my friends would use to describe me. Realistic on the other hand...maybe. And that's what I am being.Lana is sick. I had to take her to the doctor for the first time in...well, truthfully, I CAN'T REMEMBER! (Amen to that!) She doesn't have strep or anything that an antibiotic will help, which means alternating doses of Tylenol and Motrin to keep her from competing with the temperature of a pre-heated oven and the crankiness of, well...me without any sleep.
I am hoping...praying...BEGGING ACTUALLY that she will sleep well through the night. I can handle anything if I have sleep. If my sleep is interrupted, well that's a different story. And that is exactly what happened last night. You know the drill: just as you are about to fall comfortably asleep and into dreamland that "waaaah" echos through the hall and off the 1970's paneling. 3 hours later, she finally decides to stop fighting and falls asleep...for 3 hours. At least my gem of a husband took the second shift, which wasn't nearly as long, but was well worth my head not leaving it's home on my pillow.
One really great thing did come out of last night and Lana getting sick. For the first time since last time she was sick (again, so long ago can't even remember when) she was able to tell us what hurt and what she needed. "I code mommy" "code cot on head" "sock off mommy." That is my silver lining and that allowed me to reminisce about my baby girl...who is growing so fast.
Just a year ago she wasn't even walking yet. My arms were stronger a year ago! Cause I had to carry her everywhere. Last summer was a trying time. I wanted her to be just a little more independent, so I could sit on the deck with my friends and not worry that she'd crack her head open on the sidewalk.
Now, she can sit on a swing by herself and climb up a ladder to slide down a slide. She can run and play with her friends (Gabi-gell, especially, her favorite neighbor and friend, whom she screams to from our front porch). She gives her big sister shoves and can stick up for what she wants. (Not that we condone violence in any way-It's still great to see her grow).
Just before Lana woke up last night, I said to Bernie, "I wish you didn't have to work, I wish we could just be...no kids, no job..." And that wise man of mine said, "No you don't." Well, again, he was right. 3 less hours of sleep is a small price to pay for the joy Lana brings to our days.
So, I remind myself, now, before I call it a night (whatever this one will look like):
Tomorrow will come and go. (Trials, tiredness, chores, and all)
It did before I walked this earth, it does while I am here, and it will long after I am just a memory.
And that thought is something to cherish and something to look forward to.
