Live and Love Intentionally

An Ever Upward Journey...

2011-03-30T09:07:00.001-05:00

I dream a lot about what life will be like for our daughter when they’re grown. I think abut things both in and out of their control. Sometimes I even succumb to worry…I guess what parent doesn’t? Then there will be a point when their generation will be the ones running things – businesses, families, schools, government, etc. etc. These thoughts not only cross most parents’ minds, but most adult’s minds for that matter.

I am very privileged to be married to a high school band teacher. It allows me to stay connected with the up and coming generation. An additional perk is the opportunity to chaperone trips as far away as Europe and as close as Indiana.

The past six days I’ve spent with 125 students and 9 chaperones in The Big Apple – NYC – The City that Never Sleeps (or barely does…) I feel a responsibility to both these kids and adults that don’t have the opportunity to spend time with younger generations to “spread the word.”

I have some news that might be shocking to you. After every trip with Maine West High School music students, I come back more confident, hopeful, and enthusiastic about what the future holds. During these trips, I witness the student’s social and problem solving skills, their humor and intelligence. They are cautious and curious. They look out for one another and respect authority. They’re aware, sensitive, and inspired by arts and beauty. They question the impact of environmental, social, and personal actions and do their “small part” to be a positive contribution.

I also know many of the parents and teachers and am encouraged by the values, responsibility, and respect they’ve instilled in these young adults. Throughout the past, we’ve kept in touch with many past students and they are now adults actively contributing to our communities and thoughtfully reminiscing about their times on these trips.

We are all a reflection of what has gone before us. These students are a direct reflection of us. An “upgrade” so to speak – Generation 2.0. Witnessing students like these is not new for me. After doing this the past twelve years as I support my husband’s passion for music and youth. I’ve always been hopeful, but with each passing year I become more confident in these kids. My hope for them is that they keep their vigor and enthusiasm as they grow up and begin making choices for themselves and others. And…very importantly…that they never stop having fun!

New York’s Motto is the Latin word Excelsior which translates to “Ever Upward” currently referring to physical, spiritual, mental, and social progress. That’s what I see these 125 kids doing…progressing upward with the limitless opportunities ahead of them through the amazing potential they possess…and if they’re a reflection of other youth I am encouraged. I’m going to sit back and enjoy this ride. It’ll be a trip!

On a "Die-It"

2011-03-19T09:49:00.000-05:00

I've gone on a "die-it." Not to be confused with a diet...but I've done plenty of those as well. This was different. I had to let it die...my expectations. I had to stop working from my own strength. I knew this in my head but I haven't always practiced it fully.

I mean, certain times you shouldn't need God's help, right? (Yeah, right.) One of those examples is caring for my second daughter. My daughter Lana was a dream baby. Great sleeper, took a bottle, loved her car seat. A dream! Then, she turned one...

Since then, it's been one waiting game after another for her to reach a milestone. At first, we were concerned. She had early intervention services 5 hours a week for 2 years. During that time, we discovered that once she was comfortable trying a task, she would learn it quickly and retain it. Her motivation was not the expectation or praise of others...it was her own will. She didn't start walking until 21 months...but the day she did, she was running. She didn't talk for many more after that...now, she not only talks A LOT, but sings in pitch. You would think that I would be smart enough to realize that God has this covered and that my prayers are way more powerful than my "energy." It's taken me awhile to figure that out...apparently I take after my daughter.

In this specific instance, Lana was struggling with potty training. Well, it was more like I was struggling...she was perfectly content to take her time and use pull-ups for forever. I was certain that she'd be wearing them to prom, her wedding, and eventually to the eternal banquet in Heaven.

I had a lot of friends praying for us. I had a lot of advise from trusted professionals. I had a great facade of patience. Despite all of that, I was anxious and tired...and burdened.

One day, we finally ran out of pull-ups. I wrote this to some friends:

On Jan 24, 2011, at 5:36 PM, Renee Gerstmayr wrote:

Okay. We have just used the last pull-up. Each time we used one up, we'd talk about what happens when she runs out. Time to go like a big girl on the potty. Now all we can do is pray. So... PLEASE DO THAT FOR LANA AND THE REST OF US OVER HERE! That Lana will pee in the potty tonight or tomorrow and this battle will be over. That she won't be scared or throw a fit. That she'll be proud of herself. Love all you ladies! Thanks for lifting us up! Renee

Then...the next day, I wrote this:

On Jan 25, 2011, at 10:53 PM, Renee Gerstmayr wrote:

Hi friends! One day down and your prayers were felt! I wrote you last night at 5:30 when Lana used her last pull up. Fast forward 13 hours to 7:30 this morning. She came downstairs looking for a pull up and I showed her that we were out. She said she didn't need to go. Fast forward another 4 hours. At 11:30, she said she needed to go. I promised her I would be with her and that she needed to try the potty. Again she resisted, this time with anger and stomping and held it. Fast forward another 2 hours. At that point it had been 20 hours since she last went to the bathroom. We were in the bathroom for nearly an hour. She was crying and holding herself in obvious pain. I was counting to a certain number while she sat on the little potty. Other times, I held her on the potty so she wouldn't jump up and stop it from coming. Finally, she sat on her potty seat on the big potty with her arms around me and her head against my chest. After a couple minutes, some pee-pee came out and she jumped in surprise. I smiled and clapped and hugged her again and she let the rest out. She was very proud of herself. She saw how it hurt more to hold it than to let it go. She was so excited she ran upstairs bare bottom to tell her big sis. (21 hours later!) I asked if she wanted m and ms or Ice cream. All she wanted was to tell her mamma in person. So, that's what we did! At 3:00, we drove an hour up to my moms just so she could tell her mamma, in person, that she did it! And mamma rewarded her with a trip to toys r us... Imagine that. When we got home we did dinner and baths. At one point during her bath she felt like she needed to go, so we got her out and sat her on the potty. No crying...but she didn't go either. She said she didn't need to. So, continue to pray that Lana's one time success would allow her to feel comfortable doing this regularly. Also pray that when number 2 is involved, it would go easily. Finally, that she'll be more independent and flexible allowing her to use different potties in different places. Thanks for listening to the saga of "as the toilet paper roll turns" Love you all!!! Renee

Re-reading these messages allows me to see my anxiety and, even though I asked people to pray, it is pretty obvious I wasn't counting on any miracles. Thank God for my friends with a stronger faith than me. It also shows Lana's need to control the situation. I'm hoping that strong will is used for good (and not evil).

A week went by and it was time for #2... my friends faithfully and patiently listened:

On February 09, 2011, at 7:24 AM, Renee Gerstmayr wrote:
Hi friends! For those of you that were with me yesterday, you noticed that Lana's clingy behavior was really getting to me. I was not evaluating WHY but just THAT she was being that way. Well, hindsight is always 20/20 isn't it? Last evening when I was making dinner, Lana said, "I have to go poo poo." I told her I'd be right there. She said she wanted to go alone. So, a couple of minutes later, she yelled my name and I thought it was cause she needed help. I go upstairs and she said, "Mommy look!!!!". There was poo poo in the potty! She was so proud
and said that she did it all by herself. I picked her up and swung her around in circles and told her how proud I was. We had to make 4 phone calls then... To daddy, mamma, ms Kelly, and oma. She made me include it in the prayer at dinner time! Oh boy! So, Maybe the clinging was her dealing with the anxiety of giving this next part over. So- thanks for your prayers! I know there will be plenty more times I'll come to you with prayers for her but for now I'll relish in this moment of accomplishment and God's blessing! Renee

From that day on, Lana's been using the potty. And a few days later, definitely less than a week, it felt like it had been a lifetime ago where that was a worry. The burden was completely lifted. And, I heard God's strong, still voice talk to his strong-willed child (me).

²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

^{Ok...you have my attention.}

²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.            Matthew 11:29-30.

I ran to my Bible to look it up. I read the text over and over again and I sat in silence (which is VERY unusual for me.) A verse that is referred to, posted on benches, recited by numerous people I know...and I never got it. I GOT IT NOW! God got my attention (finally) and gave me clarity and wisdom.

Yoke...? A Yoke is a wooden harness that allows oxen to carry a load...usually in pairs.

"Oh Lord, how could I have been so stubborn? How could I have passed over that verse so many times and not understood what you tell us?"

"My daughter...do you not love Lana with all your heart? Does she not frustrate you and still you would give your life for her? Does her strong will not cause her troubles and you still help her? YOU are my daughter...you do all those things, but I love YOU more than you know. I DID lay my life down for you. I am the other oxen. I can carry the heavy load of your burdens. You can always feel this light."

*speechless... with feelings of gratitude/repentance/hope/relief.

I guess Lana's strong will IS already being used for good.

So, the happy ending would be that I've learned my lesson and coast through life. But, we all know the whole humanity/sinner/strong-will thing...and I know He'll be re-teaching me this lesson (with grace) for years to come. But...one thing is for certain. I will remember what a yoke is and have that picture of bondage in my mind. I will carry burdens but I will not do it alone. The question is how much of it will I allow my Lord to carry instead of dragging it on my shoulders and in my path on my own.

The Life of a Lonely Blog

2011-01-18T21:43:00.002-06:00

It had been nearly a year since I updated my blog. There were a few posts in between as I switched over to a new site that allowed me to share quotes, music, or shorter posts, but it didn’t take off.

It wasn’t the blog’s fault…it was the writer’s.

I enjoy writing my thoughts. When what I am expressing seems too personal, I try to write in my journal. But, in both cases this past year something got in the way. Call it the performer in me. Call it perfectionism. At any rate, writing started to be a burden. I started to think that I “better sound smart” or “share something worthwhile.” That I (and others) will “read this in the future.” And I allowed a wall to be built cutting off my expression and choking off the influence it has in the process of growth.

Then it was suggested to me to do a sort of abstract journal. A sketchbook with no rules. Clip out pictures. Write words down. Collect items and glue them on the pages. It took off!

Only a week later I have not only began an exciting, new expression…I have broken through the wall of perfectionism and sparked the desire and ability to share my thoughts in the written form again. (re: 2 blog posts in 2 days)

So, this is my promise to myself…I will make spelling errors. I will misuse punctuation. I will try to explain something and not always do it clearly. I will post and not worry who or how many people read it. I will use this blog, my personal journal, and my sketchbook to connect with my creator. And, he sees past all my mistakes and worries. Not because they are okay…but because He has redeemed me and through grace I am saved.

Loneliness has no place in 2011. And I hope I’ll have a full blog, journal, and sketchbook at the end of the year to prove it!

Well, THIS will be interesting!

2011-01-17T16:57:00.000-06:00

I’m giving up! Nope…not in a bad way…in a discovery sort of way.

I was laying on the couch with my “under the weather” 4 year old as I ordered my “Virtual Family” around on my iPhone and killed “Evil pigs with Angry Birds.” Things were getting out of hand.

Every year I have a plan, a goal, a new beginning. It was time for the new year to begin…16 days late.

We are studying Spiritual Disciplines in church. It’s natural to focusing on journal writing, scripture memorization, community, corporate worship. They come more easily to me. It’s not a lot of “work…” This past week we focused on Fasting and Solitude…yeah, not really my forte.

See…I’m scared of fasting. I’m scared of unplugging. I’m kinda known as a person that knows about pop culture, new trends, new gadgets. I can hold a conversation with a middle school kid…a high schooler…someone in their 20s…someone in their 60s…You get the picture. I am aware of pop culture. (Don’t get that confused with important current events…I am not up on those!)

If I do what I’m planning to do…purge and fast…I’m risking losing a bit of that. And, that’s a big part of how I define myself. Current. But…what if that’s not the plan God has for me. Am I willing to give that up?

I’m reading a cool book called UNSTUFF. I’d probably be done with it by now if I hadn’t played virtual family, angry birds, and bejeweld so much…not to mention hours of Criminal Minds re-runs (they’re new to ME).

On page 3…yes PAGE 3… It asks questions like:

What stuff can’t you live without?

Of the things you mentioned, which are essential for life?

What stuff makes you feel better when you’ve had a bad day?

What is one thing you could never give away? Why?

What do you have too much of?

What about stuff stresses you out?

What stuff do you fear being without? (THAT ONE HURT!)

What stuff do you have to have in order to be happy and content? (Hit me while I’m down, why don’t you!)

Stuff was meant to supply our needs…

So I began to think? Where can I unstuff? What can I fast from that will make a positive impact on my relationship with God and others…

I had to start with the “apps.” I LOVE my iPhone! REALLY LOVE it! I don’t know what the appropriate Greek word for this kind of love is…but there’s got to be one. Cause LOVE is the right way to describe how I feel about my iPhone!…

But, I waste a lot of precious time on the 150+ apps that are on that treasure of mine. So, I cut it down. I removed Angry Birds and Bejeweled, Words with Friends (I always lose anyway) and Virtual Family. I took off all the shopping apps except Amazon (for work). I moved facebook off of the front screen and before I could change my mind I pressed SYNC.

That was step one. Step two (speaking of Facebook) was to disconnect from that. I am posting on Tumblr now and IT will go to my facebook page (but I won’t). It’s not the posting that’s the problem for me. It’s the looking up of everyone else and their business that sucks up my time. So. Bye bye facebook. I will be back on February 1 and no sooner.

You may be thinking…what’s the deal, how different is tumblr? Well, for me VERY different because I only follow one person on tumblr where I have hundreds of friends on facebook.

And…for the rest of the month I am going to purge and fast from other things that God brings to mind. I am going to rid my e-mail accounts of newsletters (that I never read anyway) tomorrow. I’m going to listen each day to see if there is another item or behavior that God wants me to live without. And I bet the less cluttered my time, mind, and environment get, the better I’ll be able to hear His plan.

So…I’ll be posting along the way…maybe. And if you haven’t disconnected from facebook, you can follow along while it happens. I won’t see your comments or know what’s happening…so don’t think I’m ignoring you, I’m just on a fast.

Yep, THIS will be interesting!!!

Generosity

2010-05-17T08:04:00.003-05:00

Generosity was defined to me today as joyful sharing of your abundance.

What keeps you from being generous? For me, often times, it’s fear. Fear that if I give away money, time, love, that I will end up sacrificing something. Fear that there won’t be enough. I argue that I am being responsible to those I love when I protect resources, but is that really my motive?

I think we can all agree right now that no matter what your religious or political views might be that generosity is overall considered a worthy and good thing. So, let’s put aside our differences to examine the core of generosity. I will, however, refer to things in my life including my experiences at my job (my church), and events (often times held at my church), and those I respect (friends and leaders many from my church).

The series we are staring today at South Park Church is called Life.Money.Hope This morning, our Pastor, Eric Flood, made sure to state that the message would apply to each person differently depending on their circumstances. For some it would be to learn to live in contentment of what they have. Others-- to generously give gratitude for what they have. And for others it may be to practice that gratitude and extend generosity to others. For some that would include time, talents, or treasures.

Interestingly enough, that is one of the journeys I have been on, particularly for the past 10 years. I have never experienced “want” for basic needs. I have, however, often times coveted new, nice, and more. Thanks to the “freedom” of credit cards in college I practiced that fully by indulging in material possessions, food and drink, and argued to myself that I deserved these things. Not until my daughter was 1 did I begin to sacrifice and pay the price for those things. (And might I add, thanks to the added years and pounds I have put on I have nothing to show for them) I have begun to learn to live in contentment with the material possessions I have.

I still struggle with contentment … I can live without the newest handbag or gadget. However, I still fill myself with little things to find contentment…most often times food or something that “wastes” my time. An iced coffee and a long drive for example.

Now, I am not saying that the newest handbag, an iced coffee, or some alone time is bad. It’s the reason behind them that can be...that can keep you from being generous.

Statistics don’t help me much in this aspect of my life. Yeah, yeah, if only I wouldn’t buy a Starbucks I’d save 2.5 million dollars a year or whatever. That speaks to my mind, but not to my heart. Eric stated today that generosity is not about guilt or agenda…that it is about giving cheerfully (2 Corinthians 9:7). Interestingly enough, it is said that people who give generously experience more joy than those that don’t. If I bought my friend a Starbucks would I experience more joy than partaking in it myself? Is that a challenge I am even willing to take on?

I have been described as an encouraging and generous person. I will go out of my way to help people. I often times say yes over no. My heart is touched by those in need. But, am I practicing pure generosity as defined by joyful sharing of my abundance? What have I been given abundantly? What about you? Is it material, financial, time, talents? Do I consistently give generously of these things? Do you?

Eric said that at a large event over this past weekend he had a moment of clarity in conversation and observation. SPC hosted an event called Bobbapalooza where 1000 high school kids, 110 volunteers, and 26 bands joined together for a “battle of the bands” type experience. Eric was grateful for the people in the 90s that gave generously to build the educational wing of our church. 15 years later, 1100 people are enjoying their generosity. Then he asked, will we be thought of in that way? Are we doing our part to live generously in our days?

I bet we can all think of an instance such as that. I bet we can all agree we'd like to leave a legacy of generosity behind.

John Wesley, religious leader in the 1700s and founder of the Methodist church said, “Do all the good you can, By all the means you can, In all the ways you can, In all the places you can, At all the times you can, To all the people you can, As long as ever you can.”

So...how can you live generously today…by joyful sharing your abundance?

To hear the full message click here and listen to Where it all starts.

Click to read Eric's blog.

The Power of a Praying Wife

2010-04-12T19:17:00.001-05:00

Ten years and nine months since Bernie and I said "I Do," our marriage is more authentic and stronger than we could have ever imagined. It's not thanks to anything we've done, it's all because God is present in our marriage.

Two days ago, I spoke at the South Park Church Women's Retreat. I shared how, during one of my periods of depression, God grew Bernie into the spiritual leader of our home. Throughout the rest of this past weekend, numerous women came up to me asking for prayer and expressing the desire to have God work in their marriages in that way.

That decided my prayers for the next 30 days. I decided to get this book and pray not only for my husband but for all of those ladies' husbands specifically as well as others I know in general. NOTHING is too big for our God. Want me to pray for your husband? Click on this link: Pray for my spouse too!

Consequently, South Park Church is also doing an entire series on Marriage.

To join me on this journey of prayer and reclaim God's plan for your marriage, join us at South Park Church each Sunday. Click on the link below to get information on the current series:

Why Marriage Matters at South Park Church

And click on the following link to get your own copy of The Power of a Praying Wife (Husbands, there's a book written for you too!)
The Power of a Praying Wife

I sit back now inspired and encouraged to do the only thing I can -- PRAY and to watch God do what only He can -- change hearts and lives in amazing ways.

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.

-Philippians 4:19 (NLT)

And this is my prayer:

2010-01-02T18:45:00.007-06:00

That your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ -- to the glory and praise of God. Philippians 1:9-11 (NIV)

This verse has been prominent in my life the past week. The leadership team at South Park is memorizing this translation together and we are going to be praying it this year as we plan, minister, and serve the congregation and community. I am going to take it a step farther (as I am sure most if not all of the team will do as well) and pray it when serving and loving my family, friends, neighbors, and even strangers.

This was also read at the beautiful wedding of Amy and Joshua Rule that I attended today. And I will pray this for them as they begin their new life together. They already are such an example and inspiration as Christians and I can't wait to see their living example of a Christian couple.

I use the term Christian with ease and a positive meaning, however, I know many people that read this may find fault in that term. I strive to be a Christian that Jesus would be proud of:

As found in Philippians 2:5-7:

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

With humbled pride, grace, and forgiveness, I use the term "Christian" to mean one that strives to be more and more like Christ himself each day. So, that being said, I want to give my understanding on Philippians 1:9-11. Whether you are a follower of Christ or not, the words of this verse could only make your life and the lives of those around you better.

"This is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight..." Each day we need to CHOOSE to be love, choose to accept love, and choose to learn what authentic love is. Ancient Greek had four very specific words to qualify types of love. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love)

As humans, we can "be" and give love to each and every person we come in contact with. In America for certain we have come to take LOVE to two extremes--thinking it is strictly the passionate love experienced intimately between two people or throwing the word LOVE around when talking about pizza or your iphone. But, if we look at ancient Greek and choose to learn authentically the different specific types of love, we actually CAN be love continuously and it will abound more and more in (and because of) knowledge and depth of insight.

"...so that you may be able to discern what is best..." Every day is full of decisions. Most of the decisions we make will likely effect others, maybe even those in generations yet to be born. We must be courteous and courageous enough to choose the decisions that are best. Likewise, what our world or culture may deem "best" actually may not be. But, if our decisions are based out of authentic love, knowlege, and depth of insight, we have a much better chance to discern what IS actually best. Again, we must start with and choose LOVE.

"...and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ" Depending on who you talk to, the return of Jesus is right around the corner, but read the new testament and see that the followers of Jesus were praying for that same thing. In the same manner, no one knows when my or your time on this earth will be up except our Father in Heaven. "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." (Matthew 24:36) So, instead of watching our steps to make sure we do the "right thing" (motive check, by the way) we should live daily as if it were the day of Christ's return. In addition, we are all imperfect. Pure, blameless and filled with the fruit of righteousness are some pretty hard things to live up to or do on our own. Those come through understanding, persuing and surrendering to Jesus Christ. None of us are born and live naturally pure and blameless. If we recognize this, the guilt and shame can go away and we can allow the grace of God to flow freely in our lives. Each day we must ask God to equip us. Add authentic love, knowledge, depth of insight, and the decisions that are best and we will be closer to pure and blameless than we might have been on our own.

"...to the glory and praise of God." Once you find you've stopped relying on or pursuing God you will notice that the "Christian" you are and the "Christian" your Lord and Savior asks you to be may be very different. Always check that the motive of any action is to glorify and praise God.

So, this is my prayer: May your 2010 be filled with love and may the love in and between each of us abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight so that it is authentic and that we may be able to discern what is best now and for generations to come. And may all of us who call ourselves Christian be pure and blameless today and until the day of Christ filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes not from us but through surrendering to Jesus Christ all so that God can be praised and He can receive all the glory.

Happy New Year!

The Best Day Ever!

2009-10-07T16:33:00.004-05:00

Leave it to my six year old to put things in my life right back where they should be! I am so grateful for her!

See, I came down with a bad case of Strep. No, I mean BAD as in my doctor was worried about how swollen I was and prescribed me liquid Amoxicillin instead of pills (like a normal grown up). When I went to get the prescription filled the pharmacist asked if I'd need a syringe for "her." (Looking at my 2 year old) I said, "Actually, the prescription is for me." And...the caring pharmacist laughed.

Then, my husband made a completely normal mistake and misplaced his car keys. Only problem...months ago we misplaced the spare set. So, I had to go to the dealership and get them replaced. Good thing we don't have one of those fancy new cars with the smart keys...these only cost us 15 dollars.

So, after a couple of days that I could have definitely lived without, I go to pick up Belle today after school and am greeted with, "This is the best day ever!" (Really? Convince me!)

1. It was walk to school day, and though we live just blocks from the school, we don't always walk as we should. Today was a perfect day (weather wise) for the national event and every Central school student that walked to school received a handful of prizes (bottled water, pencil, junior policeman badge, healthy fruit roll-up, and ever coveted STICKER).

2. Belle got to "shop" at the school store today after winning a gift certificate in the weekly raffle. (She had to have finished all of her homework to be entered in the raffle, and since we were out of town for my brother in law's wedding last week, it was definitely a task...so I was glad she was rewarded for her hard work. And, no, it wasn't rigged!) She got markers. They are the most popular thing for 1st graders in the store!

3. She was the MYSTERY PERSON! Every day since the beginning of the year, I have heard about the mystery person and how she "wasn't it." The teacher picks a characteristic at the beginning of the day and doesn't tell the kids what it is. If she observes someone doing that particular thing throughout the day, she announces the mystery person at the end of the day and they get to pick a prize! Today was "Quiet Worker" and Belle was the mystery person. She picked a heart ring that has a smiley face on it.

4. AND...if that wasn't enough, her gym teacher that finished filling in the maternity leave she was covering gave EVERY STUDENT a lollipop! How fun!

So, yes, I am still on dayquil and antibiotics. Yes, I need sleep cause I am cold and achy. Yes, my 2 1/2 year old has mastered temper tantrums and screaming and has made it her goal to show off her skills. But, my 6 year old had the best day ever...and that's good enough for me!

My Life According To...Jason Mraz

2009-08-10T16:12:00.001-05:00

Got this from a Facebook note I was tagged in. TOO FUN!

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to people you like and include me (presuming I'm someone you like). You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name)"

Pick your Artist
Jason Mraz

Are you a male or female?
Boy’s gone

Describe yourself.
Geek in the Pink

How do you feel?
Better

Describe where you currently live?
Who needs shelter?

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Falling all over the world.

Your favorite form of transportation:
Plane

Your best friend:
Mr Curiosity

You and your best friend are:
You and I both

What's the weather like?
Not so usual

Favorite time of day:
Tonight, not again.

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called?
The beauty in the ugly

What is life to you?
A Beautiful Mess

Your relationship:
I’m yours

Your fear:
If it kills me

What is the best advice you have to give?
Life is wonderful

Thought for the Day:
I’ll do anything

How I would like to die:
Lucky

My soul's present condition:
Live High

My motto:
God moves through you

If I could change the world...

2009-08-07T23:49:00.003-05:00

I love things that rock my world!

No, really...I love it when my entire core is shaken, my priorities are tested, and my world is reordered into action.

This happened most recently at the Willow Creek Leadership Summit. Now, for those of you that either don't know Willow Creek or know its reputation as a mega-church from a distance allow me to clarify something...this wasn't some churchy "Kumbaya" thing. This wasn't a sit around and judge others kind of thing. This summit had "Christians" and "Non-Christians" presenting. It had top leaders and analysts present. We heard a former Prime Minister (Tony Blair), a Rock Legend (Bono), a political analyst and former white house advisor (David Gergen)...all household names pretty much across the world. There were pastors from multiple backgrounds, denominations, and locations. There were those expressing the need for life-saving Aid as well as Trade that empowers people to help themselves and their communities. Young entreprenuers shared their approach to leading into this new tomorrow.

There were people hurt by "Christians" who, in spite of that, rose to their calling and not only forgave, but became a change in the world.

There was inspiration, innovation, and intentionality like I haven't seen. And Christian, non-Christian, spiritual, religious or otherwise...only good can come from that!

My world was rocked. But I am constantly reminded by the little voice in my head, the skeptics in the world, and the cliches all over posters that "someone" can't do everything...BUT EVERYONE CAN DO SOMETHING.

So... here are my small steps to make my impact on my world and the world.

The Planet: 1. Reduce energy in simple ways. 2. Ruthlessly recycle and consider my decisions in regards to waste.

Poverty, Aids, and other Global Issues: 1. Increase my awareness by readings and discussions. 2. Give what I can financially by sacrificing purchases or making smarter ones.

My community: 1. Stop "running" and be present. 2. Encourage "communal" living. (Open door policy).

My children: 1. Continue to provide for them in all ways and in doing so remember a child whose need is not being met. 2. Give gratitude for my circumstances and pray for those in need like never before.

My husband: 1. Remind him of the incredible man and leader he is. 2. Think of him as more important than myself.

My household: 1. Care for my home as the blessing it is. 2. Eliminate clutter and simplify in turn allowing it to run smoother.

My home church: 1. Continue to support it with my time, treasures and talents. 2. Open my home and life up to others who are longing for a church community.

My body: 1. Be aware and concerned that what I am consuming is nutritionally well. 2. Be a part of a holistic approach to fitness. (yoga, pilates...)

My mind: 1. Read 30 minutes a day. 2. Communicate what I've learned.

My relationship with God: 1. Read the word daily, slowly and quietly soaking it in. 2. Practice adoration.

All of the above: Live out the Gospel.

Long list? Maybe.

Easy steps? We'll see.

Failure? Definitely.

Grace? Thankfully.

Change? Amazingly.

Leadership...

2009-08-06T19:00:00.002-05:00

From an early age I had an inkling that I had some, even if only a few, leadership skills. I came to this realization when I could get other kids to goof off in my girl scout troop (that my mother led. At least I didn't do it in school.) Those "skills" eventually led to actual leadership opportunities in music and other activities I was involved in. Finally, my skills were used for good, not evil.

Today, I've confirmed this finding by staying involved in the organization-end of activities, taking strength-finder and gift assessments, and most recently, experiencing the excitement that occurs within me when I attend leadership conferences/summits/events.

I am blessed and humbled to be a part of our team from South Park Church that is experiencing the Willow Creek Community Church Leadership Summit. I was able, today, to connect with God and others while listening to passionate, experienced speakers talk about a wide range of leadership issues.

We all need and use leadership skills on some level. Whether it is in your profession, your home, or your hobbies, a good leader inspires, motivates, equips, and supports others to be the best they can be. Gone are the days of the dictator that communicates a vision and barks orders. I am thrilled to be a part of this leadership movement. Not only do I feel empowered and challenged to give, do, and grow more, but I pray that I instill that in those I come in contact with as well.

The summit began with Bill Hybels, founder and senior pastor at Willow Creek speaking on Leading in a New Reality. Now, I have to be honest here. I had a guard up about what I would hear and experience from Pastor Hybels and Willow Creek. Not because I heard anything bad in particular. More because I have never gone to WCCC or heard Hybels and I was expecting that "let down" you get when someone builds something up so great that it can't possibly meet your expectations. I wasn't let down--and I let my guard down pretty quickly! Hybels was genuine, moving, honest, and inspiring. What was cool was to hear much of what he said and know that our current leadership has had to, in recent days, address many of the "hard issues" and are coming out on the other side in one piece and energized! He talked about four lessons he learned in the past 8 months since the economic downturn. Philosophy (in regards to the church), Finances in this reality, Staffing in this reality, and Personally-referring to replenishment emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Two things stuck out to me most from what Hybels said. The first being a lesser known bible verse from the book of Habakkuk (3:2--NLT)

² I have heard all about you, Lord.
I am filled with awe by your amazing works.
In this time of our deep need,
help us again as you did in years gone by.

God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow and He can help us in this time. I have been thinking on a verse this past week from 1 John 2:16-17:

For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. ¹⁷ And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.

God will use this time in amazing ways and if we as individuals are open to it, He will use us to lead others.

The other thing Hybels said is this: Teach, Love, Fill, and Challenge others. I add, if you do this, God will equip them (and you for that matter) for His good works.

I was riveted by Timothy Keller from Reedemer Presbyterian Church in Manhattan. He spoke on spiritual deadness and the epidemic proportions we can find this in today's churches. He disected the Parable of the Prodigal Son in an eye-opening way. In addition, EVERYTHING he said always came back to Jesus and the Gospel. And he emphasized that to reach the generations of today, in this culture, bringing it back to the Gospel is what needs to happen. People in America today are educated and sharp. They have information at their fingertips with the internet, phones, etc. There are many good people out there doing good things...the teachings of the church have to go beyond the moral and back to the Gospel. We need to reach a new level of repentence. Not that of our "bad works" but that of our "good works" for wrong reasons. I could go on in more detail about this...it was, for me, the most powerful part of the day.

The day ended on a passionate note from an inspiring and energetic pastor from Detroit, Harvey Carey. His encouragement to stop huddling and start doing was moving and Hybels prayed that those words would not just be motivating, but would become activity in our communities.

Today I was reminded of how much I feed off of hearing others in their experiences and insights. It causes my heart to beat faster and my mind to think deeper. It throws my priorities out like a deck of cards thrown on the floor and I am able to pick them up and re-order them to begin a new hand.

I look forward to a restful night, an energizing morning, and another amazing day tomorrow!

14 days and counting

2009-07-30T20:04:00.002-05:00

You will notice the new look to my blog. This is in honor of my very favorite artist, musician, peace-bringer, gratitude server, avocado farmer...Jason Mraz. My birthday present is tickets to his concert on August 13...only 2 days after my birthday. So, in honor of him, my blog is "all Mraz all the time"--at least in pictures and music. Another post is coming soon that will encompass more than Mraz, but he deserves his very own entry!

Let the countdown begin...or continue, really.

Long Time No Blog...

2009-07-04T20:15:00.005-05:00

Summer! What does that mean to you? For some, it means warm (hot?) weather and pools. For others it is the countdown until kids go back to school. For you is it vacation, getting a leg up on classes so you don't need to take them in the "year," or does it mean more of the same old-same old?

For us, summer has always meant FAMILY time. Bernie works some pretty crazy hours throughout the school year, so we catch up on the other 10 months (yes, he goes back almost a month early because of Marching Band) over these 2. In the past, summer has consisted of sleeping in, day trips, late nights, and never knowing what day it actually is. I'd teach lessons one or two days a week and then we would all get lost--in summer.

This year our family is redefining summer. This is the first summer where I am working my part-time job as the Pastor's assistant at our church (I started last September). So, this summer, Daddy gets Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays with our girls. Tuesdays and Thursdays we have "summer" back, but our routine isn't quite as carefree.

That being said, consistency is good and I absolutely love my job. My girls are so blessed to have such a large amount of special, individual time with their daddy. We are grateful for the provision we are experiencing during these hard economic times. And we still get to sneak in the day trips, sleeping in, and confusion of what day it is--just not as often.

My job hasn't been the thing keeping us most busy this summer. The school year went a week longer due to flooding and the school schedule. We were all involved in VBS, and this Senior Class was a pretty special one so we have been jam packed with parties (and many invites we haven't been able to accept unfortunately). We're not finished yet...a week long trip to New Jersey to visit the Gerstfamily:East Coast is coming up in a couple of days.

So, how is it that I feel busier in the summer than in the year? I have hardly been on facebook, and can't even find a time to blog. I don't think I am busier...but, at night, Bernie is around, so the many evenings I usually spend blogging, facebooking, reading, watching TV are gone and my husband is home to be my entertainment. Guitar, TV, laughing, (and every so often some bickering), but all in all, it is a human, MY husband, and not a computer keyboard keeping me company. It's an adjustment but I like it.

So, what else is new with Renee? I am trying to eat better, which I think I want to do a whole other blog about...(there was a teaser in one of my status updates on facebook saying a blog was coming on that topic....) And, I am trying to enjoy one day at a time, because this "summer" is going way too fast.

With that being said, I am going to get off the computer and spend more time with Bernie. Happy summer to you...whatever that may mean in your life.

Blog, Blog, Baby....

2009-06-19T18:51:00.002-05:00

So, yeah, I wrote this incredible blog yesterday. No, really, I did! But, due to some "safety settings" it was offline too long and erased the whole thing. I know I had something to do with that and pressing the reload button probably too quickly.

Yeah, this entry was so incredible that I can't even remember it. Bummer.

So, I'm hoping to work on the design of my blog and practice some photoshop skills and creativity. As Bernie would say, "Good luck with that..."

Gotta do it...and then I'll write about the CRAZINESS that has happened with VBS prep and the weather in the last 24 hours.

Adios Amigos!

Always and Forever

2009-05-31T21:08:00.004-05:00

Weddings are the best dates.

They are romantic, hopeful, happy.

There is food, music, friends and family. (All of which I LOVE)

I love the celebration.

I love the way each couple puts their own "spin" into the ceremony.

We went to a great wedding this weekend! Shelley, one of Bernie's past students got married. In our church. With her best friends and family as bridesmaids (a couple of which were Bernie's students). Her brother (Bernie's student) was a groomsman and played guitar. Her parents are a couple we meet with once a month...they mentor us, share life with us...

Bernie sang...beautifully, worshipfully, joyfully, and honestly, for God, Daniel, and Shelley.

Daniel's mom prepared a beautiful and touching slideshow.

Robbie, her pastor who has watched her grow up since junior high, married them.

They dismissed the rows from the church so they could greet their guests.

Everything about the wedding was authentic, true Shelley and Daniel.

Daniel, looking at his new bride.

Bernie and Shelley

Jim and Laura, parents of the bride

Were we this young? Was our future this bright? Do I really have to be reminded?

Bernie looking and me, his new bride.

Yep, looks like we were pretty young (and thin...)

But, with years come memories. With years, come new priorities, new dreams. With years comes authentic and unconditional love...

And 10 years later, he is still my best friend, my groom, and my superman!

(Taken after the wedding on a walk on Lake Michigan)

Tomorrow will come and go...

2009-05-27T20:35:00.004-05:00

Tomorrow's going to be a tough day. No, I'm not being pessimistic. I would hope that wouldn't be a word that my friends would use to describe me. Realistic on the other hand...maybe. And that's what I am being.

Lana is sick. I had to take her to the doctor for the first time in...well, truthfully, I CAN'T REMEMBER! (Amen to that!) She doesn't have strep or anything that an antibiotic will help, which means alternating doses of Tylenol and Motrin to keep her from competing with the temperature of a pre-heated oven and the crankiness of, well...me without any sleep.

I am hoping...praying...BEGGING ACTUALLY that she will sleep well through the night. I can handle anything if I have sleep. If my sleep is interrupted, well that's a different story. And that is exactly what happened last night. You know the drill: just as you are about to fall comfortably asleep and into dreamland that "waaaah" echos through the hall and off the 1970's paneling. 3 hours later, she finally decides to stop fighting and falls asleep...for 3 hours. At least my gem of a husband took the second shift, which wasn't nearly as long, but was well worth my head not leaving it's home on my pillow.

One really great thing did come out of last night and Lana getting sick. For the first time since last time she was sick (again, so long ago can't even remember when) she was able to tell us what hurt and what she needed. "I code mommy" "code cot on head" "sock off mommy." That is my silver lining and that allowed me to reminisce about my baby girl...who is growing so fast.

Just a year ago she wasn't even walking yet. My arms were stronger a year ago! Cause I had to carry her everywhere. Last summer was a trying time. I wanted her to be just a little more independent, so I could sit on the deck with my friends and not worry that she'd crack her head open on the sidewalk.

Now, she can sit on a swing by herself and climb up a ladder to slide down a slide. She can run and play with her friends (Gabi-gell, especially, her favorite neighbor and friend, whom she screams to from our front porch). She gives her big sister shoves and can stick up for what she wants. (Not that we condone violence in any way-It's still great to see her grow).

Just before Lana woke up last night, I said to Bernie, "I wish you didn't have to work, I wish we could just be...no kids, no job..." And that wise man of mine said, "No you don't." Well, again, he was right. 3 less hours of sleep is a small price to pay for the joy Lana brings to our days.

So, I remind myself, now, before I call it a night (whatever this one will look like):

Tomorrow will come and go. (Trials, tiredness, chores, and all)

It did before I walked this earth, it does while I am here, and it will long after I am just a memory.

And that thought is something to cherish and something to look forward to.

Will you be my friend?

2009-05-26T13:38:00.000-05:00

The cookout. Yeah, some of you know what I'm talkin' about. Let me fill you all in.

Bernie's mom has this cookout planned. See, she has a list of famous people that she would invite. The list is constantly being revised. She even shared this idea with an actor she sat next to on an airplane once, and yes, he is invited as well. He even has mentioned it in an occassional email to keep mom up to date on his next role.

I tell you...when, (not if, cause I know my mother in law, and if anyone can make this happen, she can!), yes, when this happens it will be the place to be and the time of your life.

I tease her about this but love the idea. See, I totally buy into it. I admire people. I admire the traits, talents, and experiences they have that I don't. I admire how we connect (or could if we ever met) on our similarities. So I have a list of people I would insist that she invite...for me.

When I was younger, this admiration was, well... to put it plainly, "wanting to be" that person. Not like or similar to, but to literally be that person...their looks, habits, skills, friends...One example is how I started biting my nails...because a "cooler girl" did. (Argh!) I begged my parents for "Youth Dew" perfume in 7th grade because the 8th grade cheerleader captain wore that. She also had lots of shoes and the most beautiful hair. In HS, I would push my seat back so I'd feel "shorter" needing to stretch to reach the car pedals because a girl I though was cool was way shorter than me.

Sometimes this admiration became straight out jealousy or bitterness. I won't even give examples of these very dark thoughts.

But with acceptance of yourself (I am continuously working on this) comes authentic admiration. The kind I spoke of earlier...the kind that leads me to dream up my own list for THE BBQ.

So, are you curious who is on that list? Well... (Not in any particular order)

1. Jason Mraz. You all know he's hot and talented, and I am obsessed. But the more I watch you tube interviews and read his blog the first (him being hot) goes out the window and I really just want to hang out with him. Plus, he says a lot of things (in his blog) that B says or would say and I think they'd be friends.

2. Jim from The Office. He is so funny and would be the best friend to team up with and play tricks on people. But, I want to add Pam, Michael, and Dwight to the list to see how the 4 of them interact in real life and not as their characters.

3. Paul Rudd. I've been a fan of his since Clueless. Same thing I said about "J" up there.

4. Gwenyth Paltrow. Naturally beautiful. Is she really that down to earth? Our kids are the same age...they'd play together and why Apple???

5. Jennifer Anniston. She also seems down to earth. And she's had her share of problems and heartbreaks but never goes nuts like Brittany or Lindsay.

6. Chris Daughtry. Wow...first I'd want him to play/sing with my husband--maybe even some worship songs. And I'd love to talk to him about how he came to believe and accept Christ.

7. David Cook. I love his quiet nature and devotion to his bros. Plus he was the first AI I wanted to win that actually did!

8. Kris Allen-- He's so young and humble. I'd love to talk to him and Katy about Christ-centered marriage and worship with them. I actually know someone who knows someone who knows him. That's only 3 degrees of seperation right? Ha!

9. Dave Matthews. His music (along with REM) was woven through my first years with Bernie. We evened went to the DMB concert for our first anniversary. Plus he knows Jason Mraz since they toured and it would be cool to see them hang together.

I am sure I have more...but I have to come back to reality.

I guess for now and until the end I will celebrate and admire people both near and far. I also hope that I can be interesting and joyful enough that I might be the object of someone elses authentic admiration. And someone may say to me "Will you be my friend?" .... And if it was one of the 9 listed above, well then, BONUS!
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Our weekend...

2009-05-26T07:31:00.011-05:00

A great weekend! Sunday (before Bernie painted Belle's room) we went to a picnic at Lake Opeka. I just love this picture my friend Amber sent me (she thinks Belle is hiding from the papparazzi) I got to spend time with Becky and Abby at the park which was so fun and can't wait for the next chance to just hang and be friends--(instead of getting stuff done)!

And yesterday the memorial day parade was great.

The weather was cooler which means no one passed out from the heat. The band sounded great (especially since they practiced it twice) and our girls were pretty good. We played at the park and I got to spend some time in conversation with Belle's friend's (and Bernie's student's) parents.

Yes. Our worlds are starting to collide now. Some of Belle's friends in school have older siblings in (or on their way to) MWHS Band. I actually love it... a lot! It's another way for me to stay connected. I also saw how happy Bernie gets when the girls and I are there at events. We haven't been as present because of having two and Lana being so young. But she's growing up fast and I think we are going to try to be around a lot next year. I love the HS kids, I see how Bernie loves them, and they are super cool to me and the girls. Who wouldn't want to be around the youth and future of our nation and be encouraged?

B's seniors...he even talked yesterday afternoon about how much he's going to miss these kids!

We went to get comics, which allowed both of the girls to fall sound asleep in the car and for B and I to listen to music and talk. One of our favorite times together.

After coming home, and letting the kids watch an hour of Dora while we "rested our eyes" (snoring was involved, unfortunately) we got up to finish Belle's room. Bernie finished painting on Sunday and we needed to get the shelves and trinkets put back up (before Lana was the bull in the closet which was the literal china shop)

The girls went to bed shortly after that, and after dinner together (and Bernie for the first time reading this blog), he felt inspired to get out the guitar and play and sing on the porch for me. (It may have been the wine more than the blog, but he said this thing wasn't as useless as he thought and that more people should read it.)

So one hour and a half of singing and playing (thanks Justin for letting him borrow the steel string...sounded great), we headed to bed to call it a night.

Overall great weekend and can't wait to get the day off to a great start. My plans? After this...turn off the computer and phone and get caught up on the chores. My hubby deserves to come home to a clean castle...he'll be more tempted to serenade me again when there's nothing to be done.

Enjoy the last week of May...Summers-a-comin!

Freedom is...

2009-05-25T08:33:00.002-05:00

Happy Memorial Day. I like Memorial Day. Now that I don't have to be responsible for a parade or performance, I LOVE Memorial Day. It's the perfect time of year, it is also a sign that the summer (and no school) is coming.

Holidays like Memorial Day, Bernie (band directors) needs to work...do parades, ceremonies, etc. But, I don't mind sharing him with the community. If his job with the Maine West HS Band makes others' day a little more meaningful, it is a small sacrifice. Plus, he comes home around 1 pm which is way earlier than most days.

I love thinking about our freedom. I love that I have this freedom to randomly say what I want to say no matter how meaningless. I love that we have the freedom to pray on my daughter's public school playground. I love that my daughter has the freedom to ask questions about God in class cause she doesn't know any better. I love that my dad (and mom) have the freedom to cruise the country in the corvette he got 2 years ago today. I could go on and on...

I know that many people risked their lives for this freedom. I am grateful even though I don't understand politics and the military and foreign relations. (And that isn't flippant, I just don't.)

Well, speaking of freedom, my oldest is practicing hers by raiding the candy jar to bring daddy some treats for doing a good job at the parade...(and I need to make sure she's not going to reward herself now for thinking of her daddy).

Enjoy your freedom.

Let's REALLY dream a bit--

2009-05-24T09:55:00.003-05:00

Okay, so my last posts mentioned spring and the weather and how it makes me joyful.

Why don't I just move? Really...Why NOT?

I need to move somewhere where it is always cooler in the mornings and evenings and beautiful in the day. Breezy and near a beach would be ideal. Not too close to activity, but not too far that I couldn't hop on a bike (if I rode a bike) or convertible (really dreaming) to grab a starbucks. I want a place where it is cool enough to do physical activity without feeling like you are going to collapse. I would love to WANT to be outside and active.

So, while I describe that, it sounds like San Diego might fit the bill. And if that is the case...let's really go crazy and dream a bit.

You all know that I am a nut about my macbook and my blackberry (which hopefully will be replaced with an iphone someday...oh someday). I love that you can just throw random stuff out into the world and wonder where it goes. I facebook, twitter, txt, and try to blog, (but usually can't sit still long enough to really make the blogging worth it.) I cannot live without my ipod within arm's reach.

So, if I were to have a dream job it would be this...Being the "twitter/facebook/blog" post-er for a celebrity that I love. Okay...I guess I got to get honest, not just any celebrity...Jason Mraz. He seriously has this girl that is called the "joyologist." She posts info and funny comments/stories on twitter. She keeps the cyber world out there connected with what's up with "J." That would be AWESOME. Not only because I would love to see what he is really like, and be his friend, (mom g--he's SO invited to the BBQ), but I could constantly be typing on my phone or computer and it would be my JOB and it wouldn't be anything except random thoughts. I love that. I love random. I would be at his house...or on tour...or at the cafe...or at the beach. Chillin', Livin', ...whatever.

So, back to reality, I love my life. I love my kids and husband. I love my job, house, church, and community. But if I were to go all sci-fi and spend time in another dimension---I would be Jason's Joyologist.

Seriously...did I really admit that to you...whoever you are...out there....?

Fruit and Love

2009-05-24T09:33:00.005-05:00

We went to a wedding last night. It was the first wedding that we attended of Bernie's past students. (Congrats Michelle and Christopher!) I LOVE weddings. Our wedding truly was the best day of my life. (Followed closely by the birth of our girls...)

I say this really annoying thing to people:

I am more in love with Bernie today than I was the day we got married.

Now, don't get me wrong. I was a bride floating on air...but I was in Love with the idea of us and our future. I mean, I married exactly who I said I would marry. (Because at that fresh young age, I thought I had control over everything that happened in my life...HA!) I married a musician with a strong family background, he was funny, cute, smart. He treated me well. We wanted the same things out of life. It was a perfect match.

Now, almost ten years later, I AM more in love with him than on that day -- July 10, 1999. I am in love with him and what we have...not the idea of what's to come. I love our experiences and challenges. How we've grown and changed. I love how we live in the NOW.

I have the Lord to thank for all this. Back when I was younger, my mom would say this old, kinda crude phrase, "you could fall into a pile of poop and come out smelling like a rose" and it is true. I live a charmed life. But now, I know there were fruits of the spirit working in me even back then. It was His presence all along...love, joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. The bolded ones were always words that came up in my life. And the non-bold ones are continuing to be a work in progress.

I love things like weddings, and spring, and beginnings. Things that inspire me to look back and be grateful for what I have and have gone through (both good and bad).

Now...that was all deep stuff, so I gotta go do another post that lame and random.

Love...

B's...

2009-05-23T12:08:00.003-05:00

Blogging on the Bathroom floor with my Blackberry while Belle and the "baby" are in the bath. Bernie is at Worship Team but will be home soon.

I am feeling extremely joyful lately. New songs to listen to have a lot to do with it. This spring weather and sunshine has a lot more to do with it. Having a husband that I fall more in love with each day has the most to do with!

Okay, so, of course I haven't blogged in a while and I definitely haven't weighed in on American Idol...but HOW I LOVE THAT SHOW! Congrats to that cutie Kris Allen. His job isn't to sell us with his personality, but to be an authentic singer/songwriter. I wish him luck.

For those Adam fans, he wasn't my cup of "joe" (since I don't do tea) but he will be successful, he'll do his own thing, and we don't need to "down" anybody. I look forward to Allison and Danny's albums and successes!

LOVED seeing my new obsession, Jason Mraz, on Idol and here's a picture he posted on his blog of him backstage...

*sigh*

I know my hottie of a husband is secure enough in himself to take me to Jason's concert for my birthday...I hope so at least...

Now, about Clay's blog about Idol not being realistic...whatever. I adore Daughtry, David Cook, and now Kris Allen, so they are alright in my book and I can't wait til January.

I am just happy that I only need to wait until Fall for the newest guilty pleasure…Glee. I know… I am so sad.

Wow. I feel like I have so much more useless stuff to say, but the kids are getting cranky (and pruny) and Bernie will be home soon.

To Be Continued…

Always something good...

2009-04-11T13:24:00.001-05:00

In everything, even the worst things, something GOOD always follows. Maybe not immediately, and maybe completely unrelated. But wait long enough and there is always something GOOD.

Sitting in the car, listening to GOOD music while the kids sleep is GOOD. Driving my husband around to hardware stores so he can fix the swing he bought us for our anniversary nearly five years ago. GOOD. Honest and vunerable stories shared at GOOD Friday service last night. Memories of travel and experiences we've enjoyed and endured. GOOD. Time to catch up, celebrate, and spend time with friends and family....GOOD. Wedding showers, birthdays, EASTER--GOOD!

When better to reflect on this than the day after we remember what must have seemed like the worst possible day to Jesus and His followers. The day He died on the cross for each and every one of us. But it is followed up with something GOOD...GREAT actually. Never ending faithfulness and hope that God is and always will be GOOD, we are His, and He wants us to know all that is GOOD.

When I start to pity myself, get resentful or regret something I did or didn't do, I look toward the GREATEST gift of love--that is Jesus. It is through His eyes that I see things as they should be...and it is GOOD.

Happy Easter and may you experience the love of Christ in a new way this spring.

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Blackberry Troubles! (a.k.a. another reason I should have held out for an iphone)

2009-04-09T21:20:00.004-05:00

Well, I have officially become the next victim of the Blackberry Bust! My trackball won't select, that means I can't even back up my info. I am going to try to do it on the PC at work tomorrow...rrrr....I have so many things to do!

I know I should have just been patient and gotten a "cheap-o" until I "qualified" for an iphone. And where do they get the right to tell me I am unqualified for an iphone when I am a MAC girl! I thought I needed it...and now that I am addicted, I do!

Well, going to bed now to listen to one of my newest favorite albums, (this will be controversial folks), Jason Mraz's We Sing We Dance We Steal Things. People either love him or hate him. I happen to adore him. Not only does he have a kickin' horn section, he's got a great voice, some spicy lyrics (parents beware) and is a cutie patootie!

Nite nite...and if you can't get ahold of me, it's cause my blackberry is BUSTED! (No facebook on the go!)

Must think out loud!

2009-04-08T07:01:00.003-05:00

Good morning! Yes, 7 am and I am showered, make-uped. One of two kids is dressed and one of two kids is eating. (The second just doesn't eat). I have a busy day ahead of me...so I just need to get this all out.

I am going to list good things and bad things so as to be aware...

good: I am drinking Iced coffee I made last night out of a cup that will keep it cold for hours (not that it will last that long).
bad: I didn't clean up the spaghetti dishes from dinner last night and should be doing that now.

good: There were clean towels and underwear for the entire family this morning.
bad: The laundry shoot is piled up to the 2nd floor!!! (and there are clothes already in the laundry room to wash.)

good: I have MOPS this morning and Eric is doing the Easter message.
bad: Lana has therapy until 8:50 which means, as usual, I will be rushing around to get my parts of the meeting ready in short order.

good: The kids are both quiet and peaceful.
bad: They are watching TV

good: I have great banquet meeting tonight and get to drive to Naperville with two friends.
bad: I won't get a full night's sleep since I require 12 hours or so. (kidding, kind-of)

good: I get to work this afternoon.
bad: I have to go in an hour later and work the first hour from home while Lana is sleeping (I hope)

Okay, so I've come to terms with most of those things.

The day's not going to be too bad afterall.

Wow! Thanks!

Great day in the USA

2009-04-04T19:47:00.004-05:00

Wow! what a great day! And this is hard since I just got back from England and Scotland a week ago...and ever since then, my husband keeps saying, "Let's go back..." It's nice to know that "home" can have this kind of joy.

We started the day at the SPC Resurrection Faire. With both kids in tow (and both parents) we were able to go one on one and split up so both girls got to do as much (or as little) as they wanted. It was a really fun time! (And great weather...thanks GOD!)

We got home (after a brief meltdown in the Sams Club parking lot--and a "hot dog combo" later--) and decided to give "Daddy" an hour or so to chill before his band's big Hersey HS Band Festival this afternoon and evening. We walked to "our park"--next to Belle's kindergarten and played...we were the only ones there. Then, walked to the library.

When we got to the library, there was an entire Wizard of Oz festival happening! I remember reading about it, but didn't really make note of the date. At first, I was thinking, "let's get some books and get out of here." But, I decided to surrender and ended having an awesome time decorating wands and rainbows, dog biscuit shaped cookies, and singing along with our dressed up, singing librarians. It's cool our library does these things to encourage people to come. What is even cooler is that my kids love going there even when the "special" stuff isn't going on.

Then, we walked to the grocery to pick up some food...(mostly cream for my coffee) and I got some delicious Guacamole. Doesn't get much better than that!

So, after all that, the kids are in bed, I am listening to a couple of my favorite new CDs (Plain White T's Big Bad World and Metro Station's Title CD) and blogging/facebooking/eating spaghetti. Pretty great day overall!

Live is good and God is Great!

If anything will get me to blog...

2009-02-19T19:50:00.000-06:00

If anything will get me to blog, American Idol will! My Tuesday and Wednesday nights are complete now that I am confident that a good dozen "after the break..." declarations will be made by Seacrest. Oh how I've longed for those words!

This season has started out awesome...with some great talents and some complete train wrecks, both equally enjoyable! Bernie and I are on a roll with our 3 favorites from this week making the top 12. Danny is our favorite and A. Grace is adorable! Mike was tied with Anoop...so all I can say is Noop Dog better get the wild card!

Now about all the "is Danny part of a cult stuff...". First, of course he is going to mention his wife every other minute. She passed away less than a year ago! It's not attention, or calling out for sympathy, it's called the loss of someone with whom you've grown and had the hope of growing into the future with. I don't know a thing about his church, though I have gone on the website to check out the statement of faith. That being said...WHO CARES. This is American Idol and if all the other wackos (Danny isn't one in my opinion) in Hollywood can have a career and earn loads of money, jump on couches at Oprah, and tattoo Kabala-Buddhist-Zen-Existential symbols all over their bodies while wearing their loves "blood" in a vile around their neck than Danny, self-proclaimed Christian and believer in God's son Jesus should be able to display his talent and be rewarded for what it is...entertaining and fantastic.

Whew! That was kinda a rant, but as I said...if anything will get me talkin' AI will!

I will leave you with a favorite quote inspired by Tuesday night's show.

Renee: "I thought she said she put her own spin on it...?"
Bernie: "She did! She sang the whole thing out of tune!"

Oh let the fun begin!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Fun with Lana!

2009-01-10T15:23:00.001-06:00

TUNE OUT

2009-01-09T21:29:00.004-06:00

Shopping (with kids) on a Saturday!

2009-01-03T14:10:00.000-06:00

Shopping (with kids) on a Saturday is fun, isn't it? The sad thing is that we've only just gotten in the car. Seriously--haven't even entered a store. So, I am going to take a deep breath and suit up.
Our plan is to go to Sams Club. Hoping they'll have lots of samples. I can eat them and act like they are so good and then use my husband (since he is with us) as the reason we can't buy the frozen package of chicken ranch wraps or whatever.

Okay- we're here!

Shoot! NO SAMPLES. All that excitement, anticipation, mouth watering suspense and...no samples!

We did successfully get the products we needed for church without any injury to or from the children, so I think our trip was successful. Feeling pretty confident now! Better get home before that is squashed like a balloon!

Blog

2009-01-02T21:58:00.000-06:00

Yos! Just trying to do a mobile blog...hmmm...let's see if it works!

What will 2009 bring?

2009-01-01T19:41:00.002-06:00

What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” Otherwise you are boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting is evil. James 4:15-16

I am a planner. I have always been a planner. I organize well. I accomplish things that I set my mind to. Through the years, I have gained (false) confidence that this is "of" myself...I know now all that I set my mind to, accomplish, and achieve is to the glory of God the father. So, I say now...I wonder what 2009 will bring.

I've had a couple of requests to start blogging again. Yes! More than one person wants to hear my thoughts? I don't know why but instead of questioning, I'll say "why not?!"

This year, I am sure, is going to bring some major changes. I am not even going to try to figure them out. I am not going to "hold my breath" in anticipation. I am going to (try) to live each day to the fullest, with open eyes to see what God has in store for the Gerstmayrs this year.

I am also going to open my mind by trying...on the EXACT SAME SKIMPY GROCERY BUDGET to buy more organic and cook more from scratch. I have my friend Yvonne to thank when it comes to knocking down a big wall built from intimidation. She is going to give me some recipes and I am going to further commit to characterizing the Prov. 31 woman I strive to be.

I have a lot to look forward to this year: weddings of important people in our lives (esp. Andy and Andrea, Shelley), some new relationships (Jim and Laura, Kim, DPSG, Yve/Clay/Luke), Belle finishing kindergarten and Lana starting pre-school, our 10th year wedding anniversary just to name a few! But the coolest thing is that the surprises, whether immediately a challenge or a joy, will be God's greatest gifts to us.

Well, there is the first blog of 09. We'll see how committed I am to this. I am no longer making resolutions...it's day by day now!

RAINBOWS and PROMISES

2008-08-16T23:28:00.007-05:00

The picture at the top of the blog is a picture taken at Niagara Falls. It was Belle's first rainbow and immediately she spoke of God's promise to Noah and how exciting it was that SHE got to see a rainbow.

What I like most is how the rainbow is peaking through the leaves. The city is far away and His promise is between us and "the world." And no matter how thick the "growth" so near to us gets, He can and does make beauty and sense of it.

Lord, You are good ALL THE TIME!

Blessings and Love!
The Gerstmayrs

The American "Dream"

2008-05-21T23:38:00.004-05:00

Tonight's Season 7 finale was the best American Idol finale in all the seasons. Great performances, interesting, authentic--well as authentic as Hollywood can get...

Which just reminded me why I love American Idol!!!

And, old "idols..." aren't forgotten...oh no!

The Ultimate Conundrum

2008-05-19T23:02:00.010-05:00

Chocolate or Sleep?

Currently I am getting neither
and wanting both.

Anyone with me?

Wanna Be...

2008-05-17T07:42:00.001-05:00

Anyone that knows Alysa Clark knows she is incredible. And anyone that knows me knows I want to be just like her. Ha! Okay, only half kidding. But I can say that I admire her in so many ways and though we are in the "same circles" and "same seasons" of life, she is definitely a mentor to me spiritually.

That being said, I visited her blog for the FIRST TIME today...(since I am usually on facebook) and wanted to comment on one of her entries. So, here I am, joining the blogging community. So when I am not playing scrabulous, Office trivia, superpoking, or tending to my lil' green patch, I will be blogging about my exciting life and sharing my brilliant thoughts. Ha! Enjoy!